Within and Without
by lateBloomer04
Summary: Elizabeth's reflections about Will and her current situation after he is forced to leave her. Post AWE. WE.


Disclaimer: Will and Elizabeth don't belong to me – they belong to Disney and T&T.

A/N: Here's a little piece I wrote in celebration of the AWE anniversary! I did write it for PotC but it works for another fandom as well. Haha. Anyone who truly gets what I mean, PM me.

333

_Without_

When that damned ship took you away, my life ceased to exist. How could it, if the very thing that made it worth living, was gone? You, the thing I wanted most, the thing I loved most, and the only man I could truly trust while caught in this web of deceit and lies, were taken from me by a cruel twist of fate. My only comfort is that you found what you'd been searching for since the day we'd met. I pray that will keep you sane while you're stuck in that hellish place - that place where I've once been. I know that you can endure the torture, love. You are brave, much braver that I. When it came right down to it, there was a choice. Either you or I had to suffer your fate, and you willingly took it, to save me. I always knew that you'd give your life for mine, but I never thought you'd actually have to do it.

I know that I must endure this life without you, for that's what you'd want. You would want me to be strong, and so I'll have to be. But it won't be easy. It won't be easy knowing that what was so recently realized between us is now lost. No, not lost; just postponed. For I will be waiting for you when you return, make no mistake about that. When all others tell me there is no hope, I will not forget you nor will I move on; I can't. You mean so much to me that I could never let go of you, regardless of the length of time that has passed since your hasty departure.

Our mutual friend will be there to help me through this – he owes you and I that much at least. But as much I will come to rely on him in the coming months, know that he could never come close to replacing you. Know he will watch over me while you can't, and that he's glad to do it. You would be so proud of him, love – he has grown so much. He feels responsible for what happened to you, but I've assured him it was out of his hands.

I never thought I'd ever have to live my life without my best friend, but that's what I must do. I must spend my nights alone without your strong arms wrapped tightly around me. I must find a new home, one that I won't share with you right away. I must learn to live without my better half. And I must learn to accept that my life will be much different than the one I'd imagined sharing with you. But that will come, in time. I must be patient, _we_ must be patient. Our love will stand the test of time.

I'm waiting for you.

333

_Within_

I'm pregnant! Can you believe it?

The news couldn't have come at a better time. Some might consider this to be fate mocking my lost love with you, but I don't look at it that way. I see this as a miracle that by rights should not have occurred. But it did. That must say something about our love, don't you think?

How I wish I could make you aware of this amazing news! But that is impossible. Still, it will be a wonderful surprise to share with you when you finally do return. I can't wait to see your face when you realize that I've been raising your son or daughter while you were away! If we end up having a son, I want to name him after you. I know you'll think it's an unnecessary gesture, but I want to, love. You're away, and this would be the perfect way to honor the man that I love with all my heart. How could I _not_ name him after you?

It doesn't seem possible that this could happen as a product of our one day of bliss. But all things have a purpose and a reason for happening the way they do. At least I know that I'm meant to have this child, your child. Even if you aren't present at its birth, I know you'll be there with me in spirit.

Our mutual friend has promised me he will help me through this pregnancy. He knows as well as I do that if you knew about this blessed event, you'd be overly concerned for my safety. I promise you, love; I will be well cared for. As the months pass, I will do everything in my power to keep the miracle that grows within my womb safe. Something has awoken in me, some basic, maternal instinct. This child is my primary focus right now. Everything else pales in comparison.

You and I had talked about having children together many times before you left, but we never thought it would happen like this. I know you'd be here with me if you could, and I don't hold that against you one bit. I have faith that I can handle this challenge, with the help of my friends. It's strange to think of becoming a mother so soon, but I know it's what I was born to do. I won't be a perfect parent, but I hope to make up for it with my love and devotion to our child. I know he or she will be beautiful, like you. I do hope they'll inherit some of my common sense, however. (I'm just joking, love.) Other than that, I wish they would be just like you. As he or she grows, I'll be sure to tell them stories about their father, and of the fantastic adventures we had together. And when you do return, we'll be a real family. On that glorious day in the future, my dreams will be finally come true.

We're waiting for you.

333


End file.
